“Panda bears” annoys me because they weren’t classified as bears for a while and my brain is stuck on that. However without the “bears”, “panda(s)” needs to be preceded by “giant” in order to distinguish from red pandas, which are not bears.

“Koala bears”, however is 100% wrong. They’re just koalas. They look like teddy bears though, which explains the confusion.

And finally, teddy bears. What would we call them if former US president Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt hadn’t been associated with them? Would they be as popular as they are?

“Toy bears” sounds reasonable until you realise that a “toy poodle” is a flesh-and-blood abomination creature.

What’s the deal with nightgowns called teddies being named after a man called Theodore Bear? That’s not a joke. How did this happen?

And why the f–k is Gary wearing one?