The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/AccomplishedRoad624 on 2024-05-19 21:13:08.

I spent $3000 on a vacation at a resort that is about 3 hours away. I rented a place large enough to accommodate my mom (good health for 72) and younger brother who lives with her. My brother was looking forward to the trip several weeks ago, and like a light switch, their attitudes have shifted, and we are one week away from leaving.

I have three older teenagers and a husband who are also going. I called my mom yesterday afternoon, and the excuses started. She said, “ I haven’t found anyone to take care of my cat.” Do you think (my daughter) will be able to take some friends? Has she talked to her cousin about going?” I’m like, “No, why would she?” She had me on speaker, and my brother then said, “I’ll stay back because I need to work on my RV, and I can keep the cat.” My mom giggled and said, “He doesn’t really want to go.”

With a crushed heart (because clearly the message I got was that my family and I aren’t enough for them), I told her I need to go and would talk to her later. She then texted that she would still be going, and my brother would stay back to take care of his cat. I responded with, “Don’t feel pressured to go. I have spent a lot of time and money on this vacation and don’t appreciate it being treated like it’s an option at this point.” She then said, “You know I’m planning to go or I wouldn’t have reserved a golf cart.”

They called several times, and I ignored them. I am used to her rejection and always choosing others and things ahead of me. I don’t know why I would expect less from her. She visits the area where my daughter, her granddaughter, goes to college and never makes an effort to see her. She comes to visit me maybe once a year. I’m about 40 minutes away.

My husband thinks I should tell her to come or not come depending on what she wants to do. However, I no longer want her on this vacation. Her words caused damage, and I need space for healing. I love my mom, but the rejection has happened my whole life, and I’m ready for change.