The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/FineMaintenance8940 on 2024-04-29 21:39:38.

My partner (early thirties M) and I (late twenties F) have been together for almost a decade. We have a house and dog together and share all financials.

Neither of us is big on the whole getting engaged and big wedding thing and are both of the mind that a marriage/wedding/marrying someone is first and foremost a financial contract. We are obviously big romantics. Different reasons at different points throughout our relationship have made it a bad financial decision to sign the papers (which was more or less the general plan at some point).

Our 10 year anniversary is coming up and the date of the anniversary is on the tenth of an upcoming month. It’s on a weekday so the courthouse is open. I had the idea that it could be cute to get married on our anniversary and invite our parents and siblings to a small garden celebration. Get a bit dressed up and make a day of it. This is all still very much a general idea that is being workshopped between my partner and I.

We are now stuck on the topic of my partners hair for the “big” day. I asked if he could get it professionally cut. He wears it short and for most of his life his mom gave him a buzzcut (which he preferred). His family is very frugal and saw it as a cost saving measure while my partner preferred the style. It was fast and kept it short. I then took over cutting it and taught myself to do a simple men’s cut that kept the top a bit longer and the sides shorter than his usual. At the time this was a big change for him and took a while for him to agree to. I think the “new” cut looks better and allows for longer between cuts. As of today he says he prefers the new cut.

He doesn’t want his hair too long on the day and would either want me to cut it or for him or his mom to do a buzz cut. I said that I would rather he get it professionally done. I have a friend who cuts hair and is willing to give a free haircut. He has met this friend and likes her just fine (even had his hair cut once by her when she was a student). I said that I don’t care how he cuts it, it can be a buzz cut for all I care, I just want him to feel his best on the day.

He said that he won’t do it. I said that if we go with that date then the amount of work that needs to be done is quite a bit and that that is not another thing I want on my list. I also don’t want uneven strands sticking out (as usually happens with the buzzcut route).

I am unsure of who gave the ultimatum first. If he said that he wouldn’t do the party/formal ceremony if he has to get his hair professionally cut or if I said that if he wouldn’t get it professionally cut we just skip the party/formal ceremony. The end result then being the original plan of signing the papers in jeans on a lunch break sometime.

He is mad that I gave him an ultimatum. I am sad that this has spiralled into a whole thing.

AITA?