The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nomintchocolate on 2024-04-29 21:13:49.
My wife wants a garden. I’m neutral but not against it. She put together the layout, we priced and bought the supplies, decided where it would go, etc. It will be a large garden (to me) at almost 50’x25’, and composed mostly of raised beds, pathways, trellises, a fence with two gates, etc. It’s a pretty large project but it is important to her and I said I would be happy to help.
But I am finding myself getting very resentful when I am doing manual labor like cutting boards, building the beds, moving dirt, that my wife isn’t helping or is very unenthusiastic about helping. Sometimes she is managing our two kids (10 and under) which is absolutely also work. But other times I’m wiping sweat from my face and look up and she’s scrolling on her phone. Or I go inside to use the bathroom and she’s watching tv with the kids.
I told her I don’t expect her to be as strong as I am, but if I am working on the project then I need her help as well. There is literally countless things to do that either of us, or even our kids, could help do. She got mad and said I offered to help, she can be on her phone if she wants to, if I wanted help with something I should have asked, and if I don’t want to work on it then don’t. But I feel like I put myself in a bind because we already purchased a lot of material, she’s been growing plants from seeds for months, and if I do nothing then everything is a waste.
Because this is reddit I know I should lawyer up, hit the gym, we’re both cheating on each other with hulk hogan, I should divorce her and she should divorce me and so on. But I am actually curious if I am being childish about this.