The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Reinventing23 on 2024-04-29 17:52:16.
My husband and I have a lake home. We’ve been there almost 4 years. In that time, we’ve become good friends with a few other households on our corner of the lake. Some of our group is quite outgoing… always meeting new people in our lake community and being welcoming, us included. Everyone’s awesome, but one couple has become problematic.
Last year we met Roger and Helene, who have a seasonal cottage on a different part of the lake. They’re around weekends. They check-in with us/our friend group when in town, or stop by unannounced. This is fine. What’s hard is they want to get together all of the time, and don’t seem to accept it when we tell them we’re busy. They get in their boat, drive over to our area, and anchor straight in front of our properties. It makes everyone uncomfortable. They’ll stay there for an hour +. If we’re working in the yard, they’ll repeatedly go by, telling us to quit working to join them. Other times, when at the campfire, they’ll dock their boat at one of our docks, then join us at the fire - without the invitation. They’ll also drive or walk over from their place to check up on us, even after being told we’re not available.
When we’re in our boat they’ll drive theirs over and say “Let’s tie up the boats” - so we can hangout on the water together. Normally, it’s fine, except for when we’re hosting guests. We’ve struggled with how to say no. My husband and I would never say “Let’s tie up” to other boaters. We would swing by, say hello, then see if we’re invited. If not, we move along. That’s protocol, but it’s lost on Roger and Helene.
Recently, out-of-town friends who have been to the lake a few times declined our invitation to visit, citing that they don’t like the visits being interrupted by the neighbors, specifically Roger and Helene. Our core friend group is very respectful about visitors, so we knew who was the issue. Our corner of the lake complains about these two all the time and has struggled with how to handle their constant orbiting. Having a visit invitation turned down because of them made me extra annoyed.
Soooo, 2 weeks ago we were on our pontoon with friends, when Roger and Helene showed up and said, “Let’s tie up!” We’d already told them we were busy via text when they checked in. But apparently, they just couldn’t resist coming out when they saw us. Being extra annoyed, I finally spoke up, “Sorry, we’re good. We’re entertaining. We’ll have to get together another time.”
Later, I got an angry text from Helene. She said I was rude and embarrassed them. I texted back saying I was sorry they felt that way, but they needed to respect when we’re busy, and that at times my husband and I felt stalked. Haven’t heard from them since. A couple of our core friends say I shouldn’t have said anything; that their stalking isn’t a big deal, they’re nice… This is surprising and upsetting me. I thought they’d understand why I spoke up, plus I didn’t drag any of them into it. Am I wrong? AITA?