The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/mar-bella on 2024-04-28 20:43:24.

So I [26F] started at my current company 2 years ago, co-worker [38F] around the same time. We’ve been work friends, occasionally calling each other for fun work banter and things of the sort. Fast forward present day, she’s been gunning for a promotion for some time now. I as well, my interest is pursuing executive level but in her case she’s aiming for a mid-level role until retirement. This mid-level role opened up recently and she applied. Unrelated to co-worker, my Area Director (which is the same as hers) out of nowhere told me at work event that I should apply, even though the job posting had closed. She contacted HR and gave me the next steps to apply. So, I did.

Co-worker came to me later during the day during the activity to basically ask since we’ve had the development conversations before and I acknowledged I’d applied. We had a slight disagreement where (in response to initially being nervous aiming for a mid-level role, which I voiced) she told me that “due to my age, I could maybe focus on other lateral moves that could take me to the next level since it’s early”. I disagreed saying every career is different and left it at that.

We were called for a first interview and neither of us contacted the other. A few days after the interview, she called me. We discussed the interview and she mentioned she was told during the interview after her asking “Any doubts about my capabilities to complete this role” or however that question goes, she was told “Well, this is a senior role and if you look at your peers they’re people with experience”. I wasn’t told this. In fact, when I mentioned having no formal role experience they replied it didn’t matter. I didn’t share this info and moved on. She said “so let’s continue updating each other, whomever hears something first calls the other”.

I was called for the 2nd interview. I sent her a whatsapp message of a picture like “heyyyy girl we did it!” and she replied “Have you heard anything?” I didn’t reply and she called. She asked if I’d heard anything and I replied “You haven’t?” She said no and I changed the subject. Hung up and haven’t cleared it up since. Two very good friends of mine called me an asshole and a hypocrite for the whole interaction and I feel like shit tbh.

TLDR; Lied to a coworker whom I was competing with in the same process about being called in for 2nd interview even though I acknowledged I would have let her know.