The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/October_County on 2025-02-23 09:58:33.
I (21F) and my mother (54F) have a very strained relationship. I grew up being Mormon in the south and she let my dad abuse my siblings and I. I ended up moving out when I was 14 to live with my grandmother and I went no contact with my mom.
When I went to college, I went very far west and drove about 30 hours to get to said college. Around that time my mom started to contact me.
I did stay in contact with her because as I got older I realized that she too was hurt by my dad, but she was still with him. I continued to be wary and never actually visited because I had my own life.
When I got married, I didn’t invite my mom, only a few of my brothers. She didn’t seem to mind that much and so I let her more into my life.
My husband (22M) and I are having a baby soon. I ended up telling my mom this over the phone and she congratulated me. A few weeks went by and she was obsessed with the idea of me being a mom. It was weird, she kept bringing up my old religion and how this was going to “connect” us.
A few weeks ago my mom texted me to pick her up from the airport and then she called me in a rage when I told her no. She asked me where she expects her to stay and I said not my place because I didn’t invite her and didn’t want her there. I’m not sure where she stayed.
Not long after I start getting texts from my sisters who are bashing me for building up a relationship with my mom only to manipulate her. I feel bad because maybe it did seem like I wanted her around but that was never my intention. I just wanted to be at peace in our relationship, I didn’t care if it was still not the greatest. So AITA for not wanting her around?
TL;DR I had a strained relationship with my mom, until I went off to college far away. We got a little closer just over text and calls. Then I told her I was pregnant and she flew up to me, unannounced and I told her I didn’t want her there. Now I’m getting texts from my siblings about how heart broken she is and how I manipulated her. I’ve been restless about it and wondering if that’s what it seemed like because that’s not what I wanted to happen between us