The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Valuable_Painting853 on 2025-02-23 08:36:54.

My boyfriend (32M) and I (27F) are moving in together after almost three years, and I’m so excited. I’ve always dreamed of creating a cozy, beautiful home, and he fully trusts my taste. He has his own “man cave” to decorate however he wants, and I’m handling the rest of the space.

I love finding good deals and being thoughtful with purchases—especially for key pieces like the sofa, bed, and curtains. These are things we’ll use every single day, so I want them to be comfortable, well-designed, and good quality. I’m also practical; I don’t splurge for no reason, but I believe in spending a little more on items that truly matter.

After a lot of research, I found a beautiful bed that was originally €1300, but I got it for €900 on sale. I also bought custom curtains that were originally €17 per meter but discounted to €12. I feel really good about these purchases—they’re great quality, and I know I got a fair price. Sure, I could buy an IKEA bed for €200 or cheaper curtains, but I wouldn’t love them. And what’s the point of making a home together if it doesn’t feel like home to me?

Here’s where the issue comes in: My boyfriend wants everything to be as cheap as possible. If we were struggling financially, I’d totally understand, but we’re not. He makes €4.5K-5K net per month, and I make €3K, so together we bring in €7.5K-8K monthly. If I were living alone on my €3K, I’d still buy the exact same things I’m buying now. But somehow, because I’m with him, I’m expected to lower my standards?

We already split everything 50-50, which is a compromise for me because I come from a culture where men traditionally contribute more. But I’ve accepted that’s not his perspective, and that’s fine. What’s frustrating is that when we talk about it, he agrees with me, says he understands, and even apologizes. But the next time I want to buy something, we go through the same exhausting debate all over again.

I’ve put so much time and energy into making this place a home, and honestly, I’m tired. I don’t want to keep justifying every purchase when I know I’m being reasonable. Am I wrong for feeling this way?