The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Available_Newt_2195 on 2025-02-22 14:34:26.

I (28F) have a close friend, “Megan” (27F), who is a lot of fun but can be overwhelming at times.

She’s very outgoing, loves to party, and is super social, which I admire, but I’m someone who values peace, privacy, and protecting who I invite into my space. I enjoy spending time with her, but I can only handle her in small doses. We’ve had incidents in the past where she didn’t respect my boundaries, and I’ve had to pull back.

One major issue was when I let Megan house-sit while I was traveling. She knows how particular I am about keeping my home tidy, but when I returned, my apartment was a mess. There were random guys she invited over to collaborate with her on her (OF) content, and my things had been moved around. I’m okay with friends coming over, but these were strangers I wasn’t comfortable with, and they were filming content in my space without my consent. It felt like a violation of my privacy.

I don’t have an issue with Megan’s job as an OF creator; it’s her choice, and I respect that. However, the lifestyle she brings into my home doesn’t mesh with how I live. There’s often work related items scattered around, and I’ve voiced that I prefer to keep my space clean and organized. It’s not that I’m judgmental of what she does, but it clashes with my comfort.

The last time we spoke about this, I told Megan that if she stayed with me again, I’d prefer she keep her work stuff in her room and not bring strangers over without asking. She agreed, but based on past experiences, I wasn’t sure I could trust that. A few weeks ago, Megan reached out, asking if she could stay with me temporarily because her living situation became unstable. Normally, I’d help, but after everything that happened before, I started having second thoughts.

I realized that letting Megan stay would likely mean I’d either avoid being at home or deal with stress. I’ve tried setting boundaries in the past and explaining how important it is for me to have a peaceful space, but it doesn’t seem like Megan respects those limits. So, I decided it would be best not to have her stay. I told her I couldn’t let her move in because I wouldn’t be able to maintain the boundaries I need to feel comfortable.

Megan was upset, saying I was being unsupportive and that she needed a place to stay. I understand she’s going through a tough time, but I also need to protect my own mental health and the sanctity of my home.

Some mutual friends think I’m being unreasonable, saying I should just help her out since she’s struggling. But I feel like letting her stay would set me up for more frustration and stress.

AITA for refusing to let my friend stay with me after she didn’t respect my boundaries in the past, even though I care about her and want to help?