The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Justisaaa98 on 2025-02-22 05:21:24.

My fiancé(23) and I(23) decided to elope; just the two of us. Then we decided to include our parents and my brother because they the closest people we have. His parents live very far away and would prefer to travel for our future “big wedding” instead, so it would just be the two of us plus my parents and my brother.

For now, we’re planning to elope and get married at the courthouse, followed by a dinner and a small cake celebration. I’ve been planning this for about a month. While we both want a big celebration in 2027, we wanted to get married this year. On top of that, we’ve had a lot of extra expenses recently because we just moved into a new house, but living together and being already married would take a lot of pressure from the planning/saving for a celebration in the future.

Now, the issue is that my wedding day is just two weeks away, and my dad and I got into an argument about inviting his brother (my uncle) and his wife, my cousin and her husband, and my other cousin and his fiancée. He insists that they are family and that they’ve invited us to every single event they’ve hosted, big or small.

My reasons for not inviting them are:     1.    We want to have a big wedding in a couple years. That’s where we’ll have the ceremony and reception. If extended family attends the courthouse wedding, it feels like it takes away from the significance of that event because they will have already seen us get married in person.     2.    If I invite them to the courthouse and then to the restaurant, I would feel obligated to pay for them. It would feel rude to invite them and expect them to cover their own meals. But we chose a higher-end restaurant, and while we can afford to pay for six people, we simply can’t afford to cover a group of 10+.     3.    My fiancé doesn’t have any family attending. Having my extended family there might make him feel uncomfortable and even lonely on such an important day.     4.    This is something my fiancé and I decided from the moment we got engaged. Changing plans last minute feels chaotic and unnecessary.

This whole situation has left me feeling frustrated and sad so close to my wedding day. I don’t want to hurt my dad’s feelings, but at the same time, I feel like I should have a say in my own wedding plans.

I told him, “It’s my wedding, and I simply don’t want them there, they will be invited to our big wedding later, but right now I just want it to be us.” Now he seems hurt, because in our culture family is “family” regardless if extended or immediate and he doesn’t seem to understand the concept of eloping. I feel guilty, but I also don’t think I should be forced to change my plans to please him.

AITA for standing my ground?