The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Far_Refrigerator3552 on 2025-02-21 18:41:23.

Hi,

Me (27 f) and my bf(28 m) are living together since 7 years now, both of us are pretty happy with where we are in life atm.

I’m almost done with Uni + parttime job, he got a job himself that he likes and together we earn enough money to live a bit carefree. There is just one thing

I do ALL the housework:

Obviously i tried to talk to him about trying to help more several times.

He says the can’t clean the cat litter because its disgusting, same thing when they throw up or got poop zoomies. Thats ok - some ppl cant do that.

cooking: well before starting Uni, i actually became a chef so i got something solid if i fail in uni - so he says i do it way better and he can’t cook

cleaning up: he hates cleaning

coffee/tea/breakfast: as i’m flexible due to uni rarely starting early, so i time breakfast and a hot beverage fitting to his work-times

dishes: when i’m persistent enough, he helps

clothing: i do 95% of that

and some other things related to daily tasks

So when i came home after a meeting around 12:30pm, he was hungry and i said “Can’t right now, need to do 1-2 things thesis related, will cook after that” , his answer was “oh so i can’t eat right now?”. Well as i was a bit stressed out by the meeting and i just thought “fuck it” and went in the kitchen and started cooking. One of our cats didn’t like the food i gave them the evening before and was a bit naughty, so she played a bit with the paintings on the wall in his room. So i could hear “heeey, take care of this cat will you ? i’m working and can’t right now!” - so i did. While cooking, i did some housework on the side. A few days before that we replaced our wardrobe for a bigger one and put the smaller one that does not look like a wardrobe at all in the office for office things. He said his older clothes that dont fit anymore need to be washed before being placed in the new wardrobe, so about 4 washing machine loads later there was a pile of clothing in the bedroom and i had no time to do that yet. So that pile was still there on said day i had the meeting for my thesis.

When he changed clothes after being done with work, he came out of the bedroom and said “still looks like stuff exploded in there”. I was kinda pissed there and said “Well put away your shit yourself then, i’m busy too and it’s not my fault if you are a lazy person who want’s their mommy to bring them food and drinks all day while cleaning up after them”. This obviously made him mad and he said “Im busy working all day, you are being a bitch right now and im not up for a conversation like this” - that hurt me a bit and due to being stressed already i just cried a bit and all i got to hear was “oh come on, dont overreact now” and he just ended the topic with that.

Do you think AITA for calling him out like this in that manner?

Did i upset him more than i should have with that and did that make me the ass?