The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/RevealNo7110 on 2025-02-21 17:38:55.

I (20F) have a difficult relationship with my father (64M) and his girlfriend (35F). I’m the only daughter, with three brothers. My parents divorced when I was a junior in high school, which blindsided my younger brother and me. I found out that my dad had been seeing Barb, his current girlfriend, before the divorce, and I learned this after finding evidence at his apartment. This caused a lot of strain between us, and our relationship became very tense.

After the divorce, my dad bought a large house and I started staying with him again, but there were ongoing issues. Barb was staying at his house when we weren’t there, and I found more signs of her presence, which upset me. Eventually, my dad planned a road trip with us, but he blindsided me by saying Barb and her kids would join. I refused to go, which led to conflict with my dad. Over time, Barb tried to take on a parental role with me and my brother, but we didn’t like it.

During Christmas, Barb’s kids were rude to my niece and nephew, further straining our relationship with her. At a family event, Barb tried to put herself at the center of attention but failed, which led to her feeling bullied. My dad confronted us, saying we needed to be nicer, which caused more tension.

Meanwhile, my mom (52F) started dating Dave (53M), who has been respectful and supportive. I’ve grown close to him, and he’s helped me with things like managing my bank account and making dinner. On a hiking trip with my mom and Dave, my dad expressed anger about Dave coming, but I pointed out that Barb was part of his trip, which eased the tension. Dave also helped me with a traumatic experience when my dog was hit by a car, while my dad was preoccupied with Barb.

On another trip, my dad pressured me to start calling Barb “mom” for the sake of her kids. I refused, leading to more conflict. My dad later left my younger brother alone with Barb without informing my mom, causing an argument. Afterward, my dad reduced his communication with me and my siblings, claiming Barb wanted him to cut contact with us. When I confronted him about it, he said Barb was the one who was hurt the most and we needed to respect her feelings. I became furious, pointing out that Barb and he had broken up our family, and I felt he was choosing her over us. I also brought up his past infidelities, which hurt my mom and affected his relationships with us kids.

I ended the conversation by expressing that I respected Dave more than him or Barb. My dad left, and I haven’t heard from him since. I fear I said too much and hurt his feelings, but I still want a relationship with him. AITA for what I said?