The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Background_Lake5615 on 2025-02-21 05:29:54.

So for starters I used to smoke weed everyday mostly all day for about 8 years. I got diagnosed with cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome. Basically everytime I smoked I’d get extreme anxiety and I would vomit… so I had to quit. My girlfriend said she wanted to quit too, but wanted to wean off of it. It was easier for me to quit because it made me feel like shit. By the time I was 3 months sober, she quit completely. I made it to 6 months sober and at that point she was about 3 months sober.

I lost my grandmother who was like a mom to me, and my girlfriend’s cat passed, we were both dealing with immense grief, and we smoked again. We both said it would just be a one night thing to help “take the weight off of our shoulders”. Well we got a joint from the dispensary because we got rid of all of our paraphernalia.

Our tolerance wasn’t high so we could only take a hit. I didn’t enjoy my high. It actually was pretty intense and overwhelming. It was for her too. Except, she kept smoking night after night. That same joint she’d just take a hit off it. When it ran out, she went and bought some weed and made a pipe. It’s been 3 months and she’s smoking I’d say about 3-4 times a week. Only at night.

I keep telling her I don’t like that she is doing this. I wish she wouldn’t smoke. She doesn’t see a problem with it. She told me tonight she never wants to stop. She wants to be able to smoke when she wants. To me, this is a red flag meaning I’m scared it will become a problem in the future like smoking all day or too often. Also the fact a few months ago she wanted to stay sober and told me the smoking was a one night thing we were gonna do together and then not again. She hasn’t been coming to the gym as much so she can stay home and smoke. She says it helps her unwind but we had other ways of unwinding when we were sober. I just want her to be healthy and on the same page as me. I don’t want to be controlling but I also don’t want to be annoyed everytime she smokes…

Am I the asshole for wanting her to stop again?