The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/bingsoooooo on 2025-02-21 07:43:57.

I (20F) have recently fell in love with traveling after going to Japan with my best friend. I am a big people watcher, and that, along with immersing myself within a foreign culture, made me feel happiness that I haven’t felt in a while.

Unfortunately, due to the brevity of the trip, we only stayed in Tokyo, so I told her we should come back to explore other parts that we weren’t able to.

I won’t bore you with the details, but plans changed and now we’re going to Korea instead with another good friend tagging along. I offered to pay for my best friend’s ticket because we would be going around the time of her birthday and gift giving is definitely my love language so I didn’t really fuss about it… but today she texted me asking if the tickets were refundable. I said no. She asked if we could change the dates. I asked why. She told me she couldn’t go because her sister’s wedding falls within the date of the trip. She told me this the day after I bought the tickets. I bought the tickets yesterday…

According to her, her sister didn’t tell her the exact date of the wedding. All 3 of us just met up yesterday to buy the plane tickets as well as the a Airbnb, and I asked a million times, “Are these dates okay with you guys?” They both said that those dates were good. Both the flight and the airbnb have been finalized. (So not only will we have to change dates of the flight, but our Airbnb as well.) I payed for the flights for all 3 of us, and the other friend payed for the Airbnb. That friend has to pay back the difference of the plane ticket minus the cost of the Airbnb. My best friend’s plane ticket is covered by me but she still has to pay back our friend for her share of the Airbnb.

I’m extremely frustrated because I 100% know her sister’s wedding is more important and in no way shape or form am I asking her to choose the trip over such an important event, but if she doesn’t end up going, am I supposed to be okay with wasting $800 because it was a birthday gift? I haven’t responded to her yet because I’m still waiting to see how much it would be to change the dates, but if she ends up not going, should I ask her to pay me back? I’m genuinely in the biggest turmoil right now, and it doesn’t help that I’ve been going through a severe depressive episode for the past couple of months. I’m so angry and disappointed and sad but I don’t want to take it out on her. Please someone tell me what to do:/