The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Key_War1090 on 2025-02-20 19:57:01.

My daughter, “Annie” (20) has a friend, “Ophelia” (20). Ophelia has a complicated relationship with her parents. As I’ve known her family for 6 years, I’ve heard both sides. Her mom has admitted they were not always the best parents. I also know that Ophelia was not an easy child, which both Ophelia and her parents admit they (her parents) allowed to go on out of guilt due to the mistakes they made and Ophelia took advantage of that. She brought out some less than desirable behaviors in Annie at certain points and I’d have to remind my daughter that she isn’t her friend and that behavior won’t be tolerated in our home.

Annie still lives at home with me and her dad while she goes to college. Ophelia left home at 18 and moved to a city about an hour away. However, every Wednesday, she takes a train back to our city, has dinner with her parents and then links up with Annie for a bit before heading back to her apartment.

Yesterday, I got a call from Ophelia’s mom, panicked. Ophelia didn’t get off the train she was supposed to be on, wasn’t answering her cell phone, and didn’t get off any other trains that followed. I went to Annie’s room and asked if she had heard from Ophelia. She asked why and I explained the situation. Annie asked me to leave the room, phoned Ophelia, and when she hung up told me that she wasn’t giving me any information. I told her that her mom is worried sick. Annie said it’s none of Ophelia’s mom’s business where she is and she’s not going to tell me. I told her that Ophelia could be in trouble. Annie said she’s not, she’s an adult. I told her I was very disappointed in her and left the room. I told Ophelia’s mom that I don’t know the whole story but it seems like Ophelia is safe, which calmed her down some.

Later on, Annie told me that Ophelia said that her mom knew she wasn’t coming home this week. I said that Ophelia’s mom wouldn’t be in such a tizzy if that were true, and pointed out that Ophelia’s lied in the past. Annie told me I was ridiculous and put her in a tough spot. I told her when she’s a mom, she’ll understand.

My husband thinks I overstepped and shouldn’t have gotten involved. I said I’d be scared if one of our kids just didn’t come home one night. AITA?