The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Altruistic-Treat-169 on 2025-02-20 16:37:53.

My sister is in a sexless marriage. Husband has ED, is morbidly obese, and just cannot satisfy her needs. He’s a nice guy, and has PTSD due to fighting in a war, and is at times very depressed. He also cannot hold a job, and she always works at least 2 jobs to support them. He does get a disability, but is allowed to work because it’s not enough to even support himself.

Sister decided to start dating married men on a site that matches up married people who just want sex. She is actively “dating” 5 guys, but thinks she’s in love with several. A couple have offered to leave their spouses for her. One says he has a wife who is dying, and intimates that they will be together when wife passes.

I have told sister that these guys are cheaters and liars, and she probably shouldn’t believe a word they say. In the meantime, she openly texts them and sends nudes to these guys. Often her husband takes the pics, being told that she is making a sexy photo album for him.

He seems oblivious as he’s pretty self absorbed and focuses on his problems, hobbies, etc. He’s a bit of a buffoon, but doesn’t deserve the disrespect.

Several months ago I told sister that I don’t want to talk about her sexual conquests. I don’t want to be used as an alibi for her cheating. I think that bad karma is coming her way if she continues down this path.

Also, I consider her husband a brother and trusted friend. I don’t think he’s a good husband, but he’s a good person, and she should just ask for an open marriage or be honest with him about what’s going on, or divorce him.

She says she doesn’t tell him due to his fragile mental health, but I think she’s hedging her bets. This has been a pattern with her throughout life. She cheats until she gets a new guaranteed relationship, and then leaves the old one. Also, she has zero problem sleeping with married men.

Husband doesn’t cook or clean, and expects her to provide dinner and other meals for him, or he just won’t eat. He’s spoiled, and she set the tone of that relationship early on. That’s been their dynamic since the beginning.

I do understand her frustration, but I cannot support the cheating and what she is doing to the other wives. If one is dying, I think it’s evil to be hooking up with her husband.

Sister says I need to be a nonjudgmental friend to her, and support her while she figures out her life. I told her that it’s too triggering for me to watch her texting other men, and no matter the situation, she continues to feed me play by plays of her escapades.

She says I’m just jealous of all of the attention she gets. I am not jealous. I’m disgusted and feel guilty and burdened. I won’t tell her husband for fear of what he might do to himself, he has a history of threatening self harm.

I know that in these situations, the truth ALWAYS comes out. I’ve just taken a step back from our relationship, and I don’t call or text her anymore. We have always been so close, but I just can’t be a part of this.