The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hedonism_Enjoyer on 2025-02-20 08:48:30.

I (27M) have a friend (23F) who lives in California. She frequently shoplifts from major retailers, justifying that she can get away with it both because of the state’s questionable theft laws and for the fact she’s “less likely to be profiled” on account of being a White woman. Most of our arguments have made for several hour long back-and-forths, often to no avail.

Recently, my friend met another woman who she intended to be in a relationship with. This woman checked off a lot of boxes, and I could tell my friend was particularly excited. However, when my friend’s crush learned that she was a shoplifter, she broke off contact because she didn’t want to be exposed to a “bad influence.”

My friend returned to me, complaining about this falling out and how upset she was over it. After I asked her to explain the reason and she did, I told her that most people don’t support stealing (especially because she’s not exactly stealing to survive. She mostly pilfers books, makeup, and other recreational products that she does not want to pay for with her full time job). I then asked Friend if there might be something to learn from this, to which she replied, “Keep things to myself / lie more.” When I told her that might not have been the right message, she groused that, “She doesn’t know why she tells me things.”

Considering that Friend is Christian and constantly argues against “sinful” behavior (such as premarital sex), it’s extremely frustrating to me that she can’t seem to grasp why stealing is wrong. Am I wrong to have brought it up when she complained about her failed crush and should I have been more supportive, or is she simply refusing to learn a basic lesson about morality and social contracts?