The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/SmallestSpace on 2025-02-19 16:21:48.
I (Olivia, 27) love photography and my SIL, Samantha (27). When she announced her wedding, I volunteered to be her photographer—completely free of charge. She lives hours away, and I wanted to help with the stress. Big mistake.
Because I enjoy being creative, I also designed her invitations, table numbers, wedding website, playlists, and bridal shower games. I even took a vacation day to help set up. She asked me to organize the wedding timeline, which I did, and she’s always had access to it. But with every task, she became more demanding. Some mornings, I’d wake up to 20+ texts full of requests.
Some of the more ridiculous ones:
- She insisted I make a custom cocktail hour playlist instead of using a pre-made one.
- She demanded I attend a second rehearsal, even after I said I had an exam to study for.
- She assumed I’d photograph her bridal shower AND rehearsal—without asking.
And the kicker?
- She insists I wear a floor-length gown and heels while photographing the wedding.
I’m not in the wedding party. I won’t even be in pictures—because I’M TAKING THEM. Long fabric + heels + running around a venue? I’ll be tripping all day. I asked months ago to wear something more practical, and she completely shut it down.
On top of this, family drama has made things worse. My FIL has been gossiping about the siblings. When my husband and I refused to engage, he called us “self-righteous,” causing a rift. I assured Samantha I’d remain civil. (That word is important later.)
I recently found out she’s been complaining about me, saying, “I don’t know what’s going on with the wedding because Olivia hasn’t responded!” and blaming me for her not hanging out with everyone. She’s also mocked my husband and me for our faith, jealous that other siblings are closer to us because we attend the same church. Now, a week before the wedding, I finally put my foot down. I told her:
- She should assign a bridesmaid to coordinate the day of because I can’t be both photographer and coordinator.
- I need to wear pants and comfy shoes to do my job but would change into a dress after major events.
Her response? “I thought we agreed to keep things civil? Did I do something offensive? 'm trying to keep this wedding less stressful as much as I can.”
CIVIL? If anyone has made this wedding less stressful, it’s me. I don’t think she’s concerned about me—just that she won’t get more out of me. I love her, but enough is enough. I have exams, my cat just had surgery for a possibly cancerous tumor, and I was sick for a month leading up to this. I understand I signed myself up for all these duties and I’m asking to change my outfit last minute, but I feel completely taken advantage of. AITA?