The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRA-Sweetest on 2025-02-19 03:22:36.

My fiancé and I are planning for our wedding later this year. For background, both of us are Asian so both families are very strict. I have a lot of tattoos. My parents don’t like them and my mom really hates it whenever I wear something that shows my tattoos. My fiancé’s family has seen the tattoos on my arm but not on my back (about 1/2 of my back). I don’t know how they feel about it but my fiancé doesn’t care and he thinks my tattoos look great (btw, fiancé also has a couple tattoos). Another thing is my fiancé is a doctor, most of his family and friends are doctors.

My mom said lots of older people from both families will be attending and lots of them are doctors so she wants me to wear something more conservative. I bought a long sleeves, high neck wedding dress that basically covers most of my tattoos because I considered my parents’ feelings. I like the dress but it’s not really myself so I ordered a custom designed dress to wear for the first look then change to the other one for the reception. This dress is a little more revealing (strapless, sleeveless, corset style) so my back tattoos will be showing. My fiancé thinks I should just wear this one to the reception because he wants me to wear what I truly want. I told him I don’t know how his family will feel about it but he doesn’t care.

I was pretty much set on wearing the high neck dress at the reception even though fiancé keeps telling me to wear the other one. But this morning when I told my mom I ordered a 2nd dress, she started shaming me. She said it’s trashy to show my tattoos in front of everyone, I’d look ugly in that dress because I have a big scar on my chest (It took me a long time to be okay with wearing V neck because of this scar), and how it would be disrespectful to my fiancé and his family. I was heartbroken. I feel like these are very mean comments, especially about my look on my wedding day. My fiancé is very upset for me. He insists I wear the custom made dress to the reception. He doesn’t care what anyone says. I’m considering wearing that dress too but I don’t know if I would be the AH, especially when it could potentially embarrass my parents in from of everyone.