The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Empty-Victory2537 on 2025-02-19 02:58:32.

I (23F) moved in with my aunt 6 yrs ago after she offered that I stay with her family instead of the college dorms. I figured living with them was a good deal, especially since she and her husband traveled a lot and would be out of the house for months at a time.

My aunt and uncle didn’t pay rent because they traveled a lot so my two cousins and I paid the rent and bills, but they still let me pay less than them. 2 yrs ago, their eldest brother, Mark 37 moved in with us after his gf of 14 yrs broke up with him because he still hadn’t proposed to her and had no intention of marrying or having kids with her. His gf was the one who supported him financially. He’d struggled to get the pharmacist job he wanted because of an exam? he had to take and his bad exam anxiety.

It was only temporary, so this wasn’t a problem until I realized how he was. Useless around the house and constantly peed on my toilet seat. His mom would apologize to me when it happened, clean up after him and would ask me to just endure it and pretend he wasn’t even there. I let it go because her second son, Nick 29 paid more rent than his sister Amanda 26 and I, and Amanda made our meals and did some of the housework.

Then about a year ago my share of the rent increased. Amanda and I were now paying the same amount in rent, and Nick was paying about $150 more than us. That’s when I noticed Mark wasn’t paying rent. Still I let it go.

Another year passed and Amanda got serious with her bf and left the house more often. It’s when I realized she was cleaning up after him more than I thought, and with her gone, it was on me. We couldn’t say anything to him because “he was way older than us and we would only embarrass and pour salt in his wound”.

Then, two months ago her bf’s new job moved him to TX and she wants to be with him. This is the perfect moment to move out, so I’m thinking this is the time we all go our separate ways, but a few days ago, my aunt calls and says Amanda and I are being selfish for wanting to move out at this time, and begs that we stay a few more months until Mark gets on his feet, and that if we begin moving out Nick will inevitably do the same and no one will be there to support Mark. She says that the reason he isn’t doing well right now is because of his anxiety and his chronic disease- an illness we actually both share. Amanda ended up agreeing to wait until our lease is up in August, but I told her I wasn’t sure about it because I had already found myself a roommate and even began looking for places together. My aunt says that I rushed into it just to have an excuse to leave because I can’t put up with her son, I lack empathy, and that I’m ungrateful after everything they’d done for me, and I hate to say that there is some truth to that.

Amanda says she’s disappointed because she thought I’d stay to help with the rent at least until the lease was up, if not for Mark then for her, but I don’t know, am I really the asshole here?