The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Current_Mountain7901 on 2025-02-18 01:02:49.

My (F24) friend (F25 / “Kelly”) had a small birthday party with friends last night. Most of these friends I knew, but I was meeting a newer friend of hers for the first time. The party was going well, and I introduced myself to her friend I was not familiar with. I asked how she had met Kelly, and she said that they had met through a local community group and bonded through talking about their chronic illnesses. Kelly has POTS, which has understandably been super difficult for her at times. Her friend mentioned having EDS and sharing similar difficulties as Kelly.

In an attempt to empathize, I mentioned having a seizure disorder and understood how hard it could be to have judgmental doctors and unsupportive family during struggles. She looked a bit confused and said “well, that’s not really the same.” I asked her to clarify and she began looking uncomfortable, mentioned needing to get a drink and went to speak with Kelly.

After a few minutes, Kelly came up to me and asked why I had downplayed her friend’s chronic illness. I was caught off guard and said that I was just trying to relate based on my own experiences with seizures. She rolled her eyes at me and said “well you don’t remember those and don’t have to deal with the same pain that we do. It’s hard enough to not be taken seriously by doctors, I expected more from you.” She asked that I apologize to her friend and I refused, more upset by the fact that she was dismissing my multiple injuries and accidents I had suffered because of seizures. I have to admit I got really upset and didn’t want to say something I’d regret, so I told her to have a nice birthday, then left.

Ever since last night I’ve been receiving texts from her and a few mutual friends upset that I left early. Part of me feels like the AH, but another thinks that the situation was blown out of proportion when it was just a misunderstanding.

For additional context: I’ve had a seizure disorder since I was a kid. It was mostly controlled until a few years ago, and the medication I was on began not being as effective. I had a breakthrough seizure while driving and got into a really bad accident. I now have multiple seizures a month, which has completely upended my life. Kelly is aware of this and the effect it’s had on my mental health.