The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Eastern_Pomelo4350 on 2025-01-23 17:14:17.

i’m in college, and i have a relatively close-knit friend group - there are 4 people, including me. we became friends 2 years ago. a few months ago, one girl, Jess, began to show some qualities that the rest of us were a bit skeptical of. for example, one friend (Penn) had planned her birthday to be just the four of us going away for a trip. she had organised the trip a month in advance, taking care of transport for all of us, and we had all confirmed to be there. however, the night before, Jess canceled to go to a theme park that she had gotten tickets for that week. she barely attends plans we make, so this was on-brand, but we had expected that she’d be there for the birthday - especially since birthdays have been very bad for Penn in the past and she’s expressed how important it was for her that she had friends to invite out. additionally, Jess lies about EVERYTHING. like literally everything, unprompted, and unapologetically. she’s also disrespectful to us, often passive aggressive, and refuses to engage in conversations that are ‘too serious’ or ‘too political’. i’ve tried to express my discomfort with the lack of respect i feel in the friendship with her and she began to cry when i explained that i was hurt by the constant lying. after crying, she made me apologise and refused to do the same. i don’t consider her my friend anymore. usually, i’d just cut her off, but in this situation i can’t - she’s my roommate and we have multiple lectures together. where i might be the asshole is that i’ve been blantantly rude to her and very passive aggressive. i try to avoid speaking to her at all because i feel she brings out the worst side of me, and i would never say anything that attacks her as a person, but id like to know if i am TA, and also how i should proceed with this.