The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Silver_Bit1409 on 2025-01-18 16:07:18.

My partner and I recently started to live together at his place. He’s been very accommodating and helped me feel at home ever since I moved in. There’s one thing I feel we disagree on, and that’s having company over every weekend.

When he was living alone he had a couple of good friends come over for drinks (nothing fancy, just catching up over a couple of beers) on a weekly basis, and he’s the personification of “my house is your house”. They would raid the fridge, plop themselves on the couch and stay over well after midnight. They live with their parents and just like to be out of the house with every opportunity. Not an issue for me, but it’s the main reason they like to come over instead of inviting us over to their place.

I’m a very private person, I enjoy my own space and quiet time to decompress and relax on weekends. While I tried to also be accommodating and connect with his friends, the idea of having company and not being able to basically rot on the couch with just my partner is exhausting.

I talked to him about it and he said ok, we’ll have them over when you feel like it. Thing is, I’m starting to never feel like it, it’s almost a chore to me, I simply don’t like people in my space. At the same time, I feel guilty about telling my partner not to have his friends over and socializing, as he’s a lot more of a people person than I am.

Here’s where I might be the asshole: my partner asked me to decide when to have them over because he doesn’t want to impose and he wants me to be comfortable with it, so I texted them in advance and let them know we’d be having an early evening, instead of the usual. Once they left, my partner says he really enjoys their normal hangouts, and I was being antisocial for cutting it short.

We had a conversation about having people over every Saturday, and I suggested we compromise and maybe plan an evening out, have a few drinks and go back to our usual routine, at home. Or something along the lines of having them over once a month, instead of weekly. I don’t want to deny my partner his need to be social and hangout with his friends, but since I’m now also living in the house, there needs to be some boundaries, and as much as I like his friends, I’m not always in the mood to share my space and not have my quiet time for the sake of his bachelor days.