The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/areyoulostbirch on 2024-12-23 01:42:38.

I 20f have been with my boyfriend 21m for almost 3 years now. My parents have known about him for the entire 3 years. A few weeks ago I went to his house after we went on a minigolf date and all we did was watch some movies in the living room with his brother for an hour or two; but when I got home my parents were very angry. They said that me being at his house makes the relationship ‘formal’, and when I asked what exactly that means they said that we are acting as if we are engaged. In their words, I should have only gone to his house when I am there to announce to his parents that we are ready to get married. I said I don’t see it as a big deal like they do, and that we have different opinions on how a relationship functions, however they saw my disagreement as disobedience and disrespect, saying that as long as I live under their roof I will do what they want (I don’t live at home anymore, I’m only home from college for fall break).

This went back and forth for a very long time, essentially it ended with them saying I am being naive and I am making terrible decisions by going to his house (once). Some important context, my parents are slavic, but they insisted that their opinions aren’t coming from the culture but from ‘respect for yourself’. (I still think their issues with pacing in relationships is from being raised in a different culture and generation). I told them I understand where they are coming from however I disagree and I won’t be stopping what brings me joy because it goes against their ideal of what I should be doing in my own relationship, which led to another outburst of calling me disrespectful for not listening to their ‘advice’ (orders). So, AITA?