The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/tkgb12 on 2024-12-22 22:57:38.

I’ll do my best to explain this in an unbiased way.

For the last 10+ years my family has agreed to celebrate Christmas late (sometimes over a week late) because my sister and mom’s side of the family generally celebrate with their extended families and nobody on their end ever reciprocates the favor and celebrates late on account of us.

For some context, ever since my sister got together with her significant other, she started going to their family’s parties every Christmas and year after year she asks my parents to celebrate Christmas at a later date so she can be there to celebrate. Sometimes it’s the day after Christmas and sometimes it’s days late or even in January. Never once has her SO’s family celebrated late so we could celebrate on time.

Secondly, my mother’s side of the family usually joins us when my sister is available and they seem to go along with whatever my sister requests because they too have Christmas parties with their extended families. To their credit, one of my Aunts had Christmas Eve at her house for years, but ever since my sister got into this relationship, even my Aunt agreed to have our Christmas parties out of sync to oblige my sister’s requests. Now, my Aunt has since sold her house and my parents are the designated hosts every year for the past several years.

I’ve been speaking out against this for years. My stance is that we should celebrate shortly before Christmas or Christmas Eve, or on the holidays themselves, not after. I say it’s obnoxious that we have to celebrate late every single year while everybody else enjoys their holiday on time while we lie in wait. Every time I take a stand I’m met from my father with “I’m selfish and immature and I’m being an asshole”. Granted, I do not have children while my sister does. She is kind of the golden child of the family and I’m kind of the screw up. She has a good job and makes a lot of money and her and her partner are millionaires while I have been an underachiever for most of my life and don’t have much to show for anything I’ve done. Still, I don’t think that negates my point.

If I’m being honest, it feels like my family doesn’t want to have Christmas if my sister isn’t there and they bend over backwards to accommodate her every year. I love my sister too and she is a good person at her core but I do think this situation is ridiculous and I feel that I have a point in standing up for my family’s Christmas while my father and extended family seem to get manipulated. My mother always agreed with me, but sadly she passed away this past February and now I’m without any support on this subject.

AITA for refusing to celebrate Christmas late this year or am I just being a selfish asshole like my father says?