The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/popp1989y on 2024-12-22 17:24:33.

My partner is very paranoid about him, myself or our daughter (3yo) getting ill for Christmas. He’s been really focused on making sure our daughter has a great day, which, of course, I want too. For some context, I’m quite prone to chest infections this time of year. Despite being as careful as I can—sanitising my hands and trying to avoid germs—my partner says I’ve potentially ruined Christmas because I’ve gotten sick.

He’s angry at me for not being “hyper-vigilant” enough and blames me for getting ill. I’ve had a chest infection on Christmas before (last year, in fact), but it didn’t impact him or our daughter, and we still had a lovely day.

The past few days, I’ve felt a cough coming on, but I was worried to say anything because I knew how he’d react. I finally told him (I couldn’t really hide it anymore), and as I expected, he’s furious.

I work in an office and often go to the supermarket, where I touch trolleys and baskets. I’ve tried to explain to him that getting sick isn’t something I can always control. I’ve also acknowledged that maybe I could’ve been more careful, but I already feel awful about it. Now I feel like a terrible parent for being sick at the “wrong time.” I also feel like I’m trying to downplay how unwell I feel because I don’t want to make a big deal out of it which is really taking its toll.

We’ve now learned that both my sister-in-law and my mum are also unwell. He’s convinced I caught whatever I have from them during the wreath-making event we all attended a few days ago. He called me selfish and stupid for not asking if anyone was ill before going. However, nobody mentioned being unwell before, during, or after the event.

So, am I the asshole for getting ill before Christmas?