The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Born-Inflation-2231 on 2024-12-22 15:08:11.
As a background, my husband and I (35M&F) bought this nice little waterfront house two hours away from the City 3 years ago with our savings. We spend about every other weekend there and will also spend a longer time during Christmas and summer break. We treasure it very much and keep it maintained and cleaned. We can’t afford a house in the City and settled for a weekend home.
It’s on a septic tank and well water system. We are first time homeowners and have always lived in the City. These are new to us and we are learning about all these nice new responsibilities that come with home ownership.
In the 3 years we’ve owned it, the water pump, hot water tank and furnace all had an issue once and we managed to get over it. It was stressful at times but everything got fixed.
My parents are 62. They’ve owned their current home for about 15 years and quite frankly that home is in a pretty bad condition. I didn’t know that as the home was bought about 3 years before I moved out, and while visited them regularly after moving out, I didn’t spend a lot time there. I know my parents weren’t very clean or handy but I didn’t know it was that bad. More on this later as this context is important.
We live with my mom in law. Last year, we finally pulled the trigger to renovate my MIL’s home in the City so our 2 kids can each have their own bedroom. It’s a big renovation and it means we will need to find another place to live for a while.
My dad has always wanted a house with a bigger yard. He can’t afford it. Before we bought our house, he had wanted us to use our income to help him quality for a mortgage to buy a bigger home. I declined and said we are saving to buy a house ourselves. After we bought our house, he had “jokingly” asked me if we are interested in letting them live in our house for a while as it is a pity that we don’t live there fulltime.
So, as we begin to look at rental options in the City since we still need to work, I got this “brilliant” idea that I now regret every single day - my parents are interested in our house, why don’t we ask them to live in our house for a year, and we can stay in theirs?
They agreed. We cleaned up the house more before they moved in and got new furniture.They held parties and invited their friends over. They also took a lot of pictures to show their friends their new “cottage life”.
On the other hand, my heart began to sink the moment we started to move into their house. It’s dirty and poorly maintained everywhere. Things are broken and not fixed. There are mould. They didn’t even clean out their closet so we have no place to put our clothes. Their kitchen and fridge were disgusting. We spent a lot of time just cleaning up the fridge and a few kitchen drawers/cabinet to put a few regular dishes and pots and pans to use. Their washer is not working. They haven’t used their dryer. Bathroom is also disgusting. I was very embarrassed that my husband and MIL saw the condition.
And then things got even worse.
When they moved in our house, I explained to my parents the intricacies of the well and septic system. I explained how to use the garage door as their home never had a car garage.
Cleanliness, or the lack of cleanliness was the first thing we noticed. I reminded my parents to be careful - I am not trying to police them but they really should try to keep the place reasonably clean.
And then things just started to break. The water pump that was brand new failed because they used too much water from the well. The furnace broke. The garage door opener broke. The front door lock broke. The side entrance door jammed.
When I ask them, they just say that they don’t know what happened and they didn’t do anything wrong - except the well system as they had no excuses.
And it’s not just that - when things break, they also don’t tell us and hide it from me. Their excuse is that they didn’t want me to worry…but they are not fixing anything and the thing remains broken. So how exactly do I not worry knowing that our house was deteriorating?
I repeatedly emphasize to them that if something breaks, they need to let me know, so I can make plans. They don’t know how it fix it, fine. Call me, tell me, if my husband and I can try to fix it, we will try. If we can’t, we will call a professional.
I’m not a handyman either and rely on Google and YouTube for answers before calling someone. I also rely on Google to find a reliable contractor. None of these I just know, I also have to bump into the walls many times to find a solution.
This weekend was the breaking point. My husband did make a joke about guess what’s gonna break next and what your parents are hiding from us.
It was the sewer line.
It broke 2 weeks ago and they didn’t do anything about it and didn’t tell me. We brought our kids over to see them before Christmas, we also made plans to go to the ski hill tomorrow. But now we are living in a motel nearby and waiting for a 24-hou plumber to come take a look, as the sewer line is completely backed up, and the sewage has leaked and made a puddle in the basement. For f-ing 2 weeks.
We tried to maintain our composure last night and the tipping point was when I said, ok, I really don’t know what to do, this is beyond us. I have to call an emergency plumber and it’s probably gonna be expensive.
My dad had to chime in and said why don’t you go outside the open the septic tank and see? If you just take a look, I’m sure it’s not a big issue.
At that point both my husband’s and my pants are covered in dust and goo from crawling in the basement to locate the leak. We hadn’t eaten anything. All my weekend plans are gone. I don’t know how our kids will go pee and poop when it’s freezing outside.
They decide to do nothing for 2 weeks, let the f-ing sewage continue to leak and hide this from me for me to find out now.
We both flipped out and yelled at them and asked him if you are so smart why don’t you go outside and fix it??
He said he didn’t want me to worry.
I asked him how to exactly do I not worry? What’s his proposed solution?
They said they don’t know how to fix things.
I said do I know how to fix things?
We didn’t unpack yet so I called a motel nearby and booked a room and we took our kids and left.
I did call a plumber and so grateful that he called me back at 11:30 and promised to send someone today to take a look.
My husband has been telling me that everything will be ok.
At this point I am just still so upset. I want to just ask my parents to leave. We will find a rental during our renovation and give them their shit home back.
AITA?