The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Siren_Terror on 2024-10-12 21:49:39.
My father and step mom have apparently discussed moving very far away. 5hr Plane ride, 3 day drive for idea. My bio mom abandoned me and my siblings at a young age as is. All we had/have is our dad and we dont get along with step mom well as she’s treated me more so than my other siblings as pure trash over the years (she has her own kids). There’s been a lot of trauma done to me from that relationship until I left at a very young age to get away from her.
My grandmother told me recently he has discussed moving when he retires which initially few years back this topic was brought up and he said no way he could leave us and his grandkids behind (i have 3 kids, 11, 5 and 5m). But now suddenly it’s a thing that’s happening that I haven’t heard from him directly, just the step mom and my grandma.
My grandma is a little taken back as well, as our family has always been tight knitted. So to have my dad suddenly gone is just a lot, especially when I have kids who love and adore him putting myself aside. Now because my mom left when we were so young, the thought of my dad going despite me being grown, it’s very overwhelming and depressing. They’re moving somewhere i don’t even enjoy being so the thought of going is not appealing to me as a vacation, aside from seeing him.
I can’t grasp the thought of being okay with leaving us al behind because his friends are there and step moms family is, when we are all here and definitely do not have finances to be travelling to visit even if I wanted to. I couldnt see myself leaving my kids for any reason, my aunt and uncle have a house in this area they go to every summer because they love it there but couldn’t leave their kids. My grandma would love to go there to retire but said the same, she couldn’t leave us all here either. So how can they because their friends have moved there? And her family always has been, what about us? Like I said, we all have been super close. She’s never been that close with hers because they live so far, so i don’t get why all of a sudden it makes sense to tear away from us and go there.
It is beyond depressing to think about, to me it feels like abandonment by my dad now. Am I just being a selfish ass? Should my emotions and feelings be left unsaid? (Telling him not to moce because it feels like he’s chosen to leave me and my sibling/grandkids behind like we dont matter/like my mom abandoned me and my sibling)