The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/soul-girl on 2024-10-13 12:14:56.

It was my birthday yesterday and for my I had a mini birthday dinner with a few of my friends. During the dinner one of my friends left to the bathroom a few times and when I started conversation with her she just answered with a curt yed or no and that’s it. Then she started to cry and I asked her if she was okay and if something happened and she said no. Then I asked her if something upset her about what happened today and she said nothing happened today and then she got up and paid for her meal and left the restaurant.

One of my other friends who is closer to her than me went after her and they talked outside and she returned alone saying that my upset friend didn’t say why she was upset to her. I then texted her asking if she was okay again, and she replied that she wouldn’t be good company as she is and to enjoy my birthday without her.

But it was very awkward after that for everyone on the table so we stayed for a little bit and went home. The day after she sent me a long message saying that she felt that I and my three other friends purposely excluded her by talking about things she doesn’t know anything about and wanted to end our friendship because she doesn’t think she can stay friends with people that do that, and she doesn’t trust that we wouldn’t do it again if we didn’t do it on purpose.

I was stunned because she had told me on the day that we didn’t do anything and she was upset about something else also because I didn’t think she would see me as someone who would purposely ignore her because on the night I did try to speak to her but I assumed she was upset about something else because she only replied in no and yes and I couldn’t continue conversation with her. Also in the past I usually drop everything I’m doing to comfort her when she’s upset I help her with writing essays, job applications and am always there for her when she’s upset.

So I replied to her message saying that it was no way my intention to ignore her and thought she was upset about something else and that if she really no longer wants to be friends I’ll respect her wishes. And then she replied to me saying that I really don’t care about her at all and I should have dropped everything to make sure she was okay since she was crying when she left. And if I was in her situation that she would have done everything to make sure I’m okay.

But now I’m confused because I have no idea what she wanted me to do.

I want to remain friends with her but I’ve already apologised and promised her something like this won’t happen again but she said she feels like my apology wasn’t genuine. I have no idea how to go about making up with her.

Am I the asshole in this situation?