The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Designchick84 on 2024-10-13 05:05:23.

My parents always choose my brother. It’s been like this my entire life. As a child I never put them in the position to choose. That kept the peace and also didn’t make me feel like shit about myself. I am the dependable child. I show up and always do the right thing.

This is where things get tricky. My brother married into an awful family. Extremely entitled, snobby, and just very mean. They have always hosted Thanksgiving and it’s just been somthing that my husband and I just go along with. Really to keep my parents happy. The last two thanksgivings my sister in laws father has been incredibly mean to my 5 year old. To the point where I reached out the day after Thanksgiving saying if this continues we will no longer celebrating holidays with them at all. We have seen them since and it’s been fine but it’s never been in their home and that’s when the father’s comfortable enough to be mean.

This Thanksgiving my husband and I decide to plan a local trip for our family. We invite my parents and my brother’s family. They all love the idea, but decline. Since my brother declined, my parents said that they “can’t pick between families” and of course picked my brothers. I expected it and I’m not even mad about it.

My husband and I booked our trip anyways. We are not going to subject our children to a toxic Thanksgiving. Well today I got the group text message about Thanksgiving plans. I sent a very friendly text back saying that we will be out of town etc… and now everyone is upset at me and blindsided although we have been discussing it for months. They thought because they declined the trip that we were not going on it. We are! AITAH?