The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/rob-her-dinero on 2024-10-12 17:40:45.

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. I (29M) live in the United States but my stepmom is Canadian and her mom always comes down from BC for the weekend to celebrate with a feast for my mostly American family.

To be honest, my “step-grandma”’s cooking is not good. And she is the most passive aggressive person I have ever met. Every year she makes such a big deal about how much work she put into her bland ass food and expects endless praise for her efforts. But I digress.

Every year at Canadian Thanksgiving, my husband and I are asked to do the dishes. It’s fine, we don’t mind it. But the hard part is that we are guests, and we are the only people ever expected to help. At first it was like “Okay we are the youngest, so that’s why.” but in the past few years, my stepmom’s nieces and nephews, all in their early 20s, were there and after dinner went in the hot tub. Meanwhile, if I’m playing with my nephew I don’t get to see much, I hear from the kitchen my step-grandma say loudly “if only someone would help me with the dishes” and of course my dad comes over and says “Hey can you guys help her with the dishes”. I’m just sick of being the only ones expected to help.

This is our second year living in a different city and about a month ago they asked if I was coming. I told them I wasn’t sure and later told them I wasn’t. They offered to pay for our flights and I still said I couldn’t make it. Made up an excuse. But really it’s the dishes. Again, don’t mind doing them, just sick of being the only people expected to help out while everyone else is socialize and hang in the hot tub.

I have talked to my brothers (both older) and one agrees with me and the other thinks that’s a stupid reason. So I am wondering, am I the asshole?