The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/sambapanda666 on 2024-10-12 11:57:56.

I (28f) got a text from an former college friend (29m). He told me he got a job in the area where my parents live and asked if the small guest house they sometimes rent out is free at the moment. He plans to move in with a friend in that area in early 2025 and needs a place to stay for a few months until then. I called my mom, she said it’s technically possible to rent it for a few months. I gave him my parent’s number so he can talk to them. It’s a small 2-room house attached to the main house (that we grew up in) with separate entrances, so you would only see each other on the driveway.

I was happy that he remembered me and that I was able to help him. I remembered that my sister (25f) also knows him from back then (about 6 years ago, they used to text and hung out once but that’s it), so in my excitement I texted her about it. She lives in the same city that I do and visits our parents every few months for a few days. She texted back that she would not be comfortable with this situation because after they hung out she realised that the hang out was “not good” and that he crossed boundaries regarding physical contact. She had to stay the night at his place because she missed the last bus and he tried to make a move on her but nothing happened. They were cuddling, he tried to take it further a few times, she pushed him away, he stopped.

When I used to hang out with him he once tried to make a move on me, too, but when I told him No he insantly left my flat because it was such an awkward situation. I used to know him very well back then so I don’t think he is the kind of person who enjoys exerting power over others at all. He tends to be a childish, awkward person, who avoids serious topics. Otherwise he is friendly, funny, hard-working. My interpretation is that he was looking for connection and intimacy after ending a long term relationship but was too socially inept to properly deal with those situations. I am socially awkward, too, there were many situations where I misinterpreted the signs or tried to flirt with people or get closer to them but took it a bit too far. There were also various situations with guys in which I later regretted the degree of intimacy we had.

To me, those are all typical mistakes we make in our 20s that we learn from. To a certain extent feeling uncomfortable is a normal part of life and something to grow on. If I see my abusive Ex at the grocery store I am uncomfortable but I still continue shopping because I know that he won’t harm me anymore. On the other hand, my sister says she wouldn’t be comfortable when visiting our parents and having him in a place where she grew up.