The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/RAThrowTumbleweed944 on 2024-10-12 14:45:38.

Debating how to handle this.

Fairly certain my GF 29F completely forgot it’s my bday 34M. We talked about it a week ago a little (she asked me what I wanted) but that’s it.

In her defense she does have quite a bit going on today, works a double, and on top of that isn’t feeling good.

I saw her this morning to make her a smoothie and say HI before her early shift and she didn’t say a word nor did she seem to have any clue. (she works at a breakfast place so has to get up super early, so I typically get up and go to her place to make her a smoothie, grab the dogs, and help out before she leaves)

A part of me doesn’t want to say anything at all bc she’s been very self absorbed lately and I’m feeling like she really doesnt actually care about me much, and this is a situationship, bc I’m a huge help and convenience for her (Her words when we fight started this train of thought). I genuinely love this person but a part of me is starting to understand she may not feel the same, bc it is rare she shows it through action or effort. Yes she is busy and tired and doesn’t feel good often. Seems there is always an excuse when it comes towards putting efforts towards me.

She’ll likely eventually hear about it through the grapevine, but I’m not on social media so it might take a while, I’m sure one of my friends will end up outting me when we are at her work tonight. Almost guaranteed it’ll cause her to get mad at me for not reminding her but I’m a little hurt she forgot and am at a loss. I’m sure many of you will say kick rocks and move on or the other extreme of I’m manipulating things bc I have a good idea how she’ll feel when she finds out, but I’m genuinely curious how to handle this with tact.

Another piece of me is absolutely unforgiving with it and wants to just move on and find someone who will make me feel seen and cared about consistently without excessive expectation. But I hate dumping people when they’re in a rough time, I always feel I owe them the gift of patience especially when their life is quite stressful.(even if it’s all mostly self inflicted stress).

Thought about doing the extreme, and just going ghosty if she doesn’t say a word. Just “POOF” move on.

I do want it to be a good day, normally my Bday sucks and I don’t really celebrate anymore, but I don’t want to end up being made out to be the bad guy for her forgetting and me not reminding her.

Anyway, cheers to 34.