The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wise_Lingonberry_879 on 2024-10-12 05:10:58.

This is going to be a bit of a ramble and it might not make much sense, but I really need some outsider opinions. I don’t feel comfortable disclosing much about either of us personally. I’m posting this from a throwaway account.

I have severe autism, and my girlfriend (F) of about a year knows this, and knows that it effects my communication and how I conversate with people. Typically, I’ll quickly mention my opinion on something about the subject, or find something to relate to about it to show I’m paying attention. However, recently she has expressed to me (quite harshly,) that it seems to her that I’m making it about myself.

The issue is, everything is always about her, throughout our entire relationship. She’s always been a bit sensitive about things, and I’ve always done my best to accommodate that. However, any time I express I’m having a bad day, or that I’m stressed, or something large is happening, etc, it almost seems she’s intentionally acting upset or in need. (note: I care for her and comfort her day and night, I think we’ve had more of me comforting her than conversations.)

I’ve never really had a day or event to myself without having to comfort her, and she does have a history of lying about things. I try really hard to trust her but it never ends up anywhere. She’s making me feel as if I’m in the wrong for acting the way I do. I’m not trying to demonize her in any way, she does try her best, but tends to get distant and snappy during any kind of serious conversation.

I’m wondering if I really am the asshole for saying that, and if so, is there any other way I can show I’m paying attention/showing I have an interest in what she’s saying?