The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nearby_Contact_5476 on 2024-10-11 03:10:12.

My sister and I are in our early 20s. We are middle class, live at home with our single mother a first generation migrant who has worked hard to support us.

My sister and I have both never got into trouble, we are in long term relationships and have entry level jobs in our chosen careers straight out of university. We bought our own cars, paying off our own university loans. Years ago, she sat us down individually and told us she would divide up her assets equally between us before she passed away.

A couple weeks ago she told me she had some other thoughts. She basically said, now that we are adults and have jobs in our country, we have become “successful”, and we don’t need her help anymore. She also wants to be remembered for generations so she is going to sell everything and use the money that she receives to donate to the church to set up a memorial fund and maybe get a statue in her name.

She said if she gave us her properties we might sell them and no one would even know about her. I was kinda floored when I heard this and I didn’t know what to say. She seemed excited at the idea and eager for our approval.

I don’t know what could have caused her change of mind. The only thing I could think of, is that over the past 10 years my mother has become increasingly involved in the church. My mother is a born again Christian but neither my sister nor I are religious. We have never said it outright to her but I think she knows since she’s always preaching to convince us. Maybe she thinks we’re sinners and not going to heaven so what’s the point of leaving us with anything? Maybe it’s the idea of not focusing on worldly possessions?

I just feel like everything my mother has worked towards since she had us is to build us up to have a better life and this seems like a complete 180.

I am a bit offended because it feels like she doesn’t trust we will use her assets for good, like we’ll just blow it all on coke and hookers. We live in a country with a huge cost of living and rental crisis, and I would be more than happy to be able to move out in one of her properties. I am confused why she would rather be “remembered” than to want to support our lives. Our father is out of the picture and has made it clear his step wife will be inheriting everything, so neither of us will be inheriting anything from anyone. But the thing is, I honestly don’t think her assets will be worth enough to fund anything long term. If I was being more critical, I don’t trust that the church will handle her money appropriately at all. I’m thinking of raising these concerns with her.

It seems like the consensus is that where your parent’s money goes is their decision to make and that trying to change their mind for your benefit is an entitled asshole thing to do. I feel like my situation is a bit different though because we had agreed on a different plan. WIBTA?