The original post: /r/funny by /u/Algernonletter5 on 2024-10-07 19:58:13.

1- “I have lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened” Mark Twain.

2- “Things will get better -despite our efforts to improve them”. Will Rogers.

3- " what I like about cities is that everything is king size the beauty and the ugliness" Joseph Brodsky.

4- “I have lost friends , some by death…others by sheer inability to cross the street” Virginia Woolf.

5- "If pro is the opposite of con , what is the opposite of Congress? Will Rogers.

6- " competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. Laurence J Peter.

7- " the holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money" Mark Twain.

8- “Sincere diplomacy is no more possible than dry water or wooden iron” Joseph Stalin.

9- " when you get into court you are putting your fate into the hand of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty " Norm Crospy.

10- I don’t believe in Astrology,I am a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical " Arthur C Clark.

11- " Don’t worry about avoiding temptations. As you grow older it will avoid you " .Joey Adams.

12- "age is an issue of mind over matter, if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter " Mark Twain.

13- "please come again, but at at another time, and to another person " Paul Erdos.

14- An executive is one who never put off until tomorrow what he can get someone else to do today.

15- “Editorial writers…enter after battle and shoot the wounded” Neil.E. Goldsmith