The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Realistic-Grab-4605 on 2024-10-04 12:10:14.

Hello all, I’m bringing you a topic that has been a serious source of stress and confusion over the past week.

I (M19) have been friends with my best friend (20 M) for basically all my life. His sister (F18) developed a crush on me a number of years ago, and it’s never quite diminished. Let’s call her “H”.

As my best friend moved away to college, I begun hanging out more and more with H. We walked to school together, drove around afterward, and were on FaceTime most nights. As time went on, it became pretty obvious that her crush on me had come back and was even stronger, and things began becoming more than just platonic.

At this time, I was recovering from a severely bad break up. H was dating someone, although I’d met the guy and he seemed to treat her pretty poorly. One night when H and I had decided to hang out at her place, she changed into some, let’s say “flattering” bed clothes, and cuddled up next to me on the couch. By this point, I had been on the edge from all her flirting, and ran out of strength. We spent the night there, if you know what i mean.

Afterwards, she sobbed into my arms at how guilty she felt that she’d cheated on her boyfriend. I felt awful, and apologized over and over for not having more self control, but she claimed that she had been the one trying to get in my pants anyway. In the days after, she seemingly took her guilt out on me, treating me very poorly, insulting the validity of my sadness due to my past relationship, and overall just being unkind. I eventually spoke to her saying something along the lines of, “I’m sorry you feel guilty for cheating on your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can blame me for being the one you cheated with. I didn’t decide to cheat on him, you did.”

I haven’t spoken to her for a few days now, and I’ve ignored all her texts. I really would just rather avoid that whole mess until it blows over, and her relationship is stable again. On one hand, i do feel guilty for being the person she was unfaithful with, but on the other, i don’t think i deserve scrutiny for a decision that, in the end, she made. Am I the Asshole?

P.S. Before you all say anything, No, my friend is not the type to care about whether I’m involved with his sister. Rest assured that if he were, I’d have absolutely talked to him first.