The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PatternParticular970 on 2024-10-02 22:40:47.

Aita? I’ve been friends with “Anna” for over ten years, we’re both 24. Last year she started dating this guy and immediately I could tell he was a bum. Hes 28 and lives in his parents basement, drinks and smokes everyday (literally), hasn’t had a job since he was 19, plays video games and watches streams all day, has told her he only bathes every two to three weeks, and is very rude. I’ve been around him a few times and this is all very evident, he doesn’t hide this information. I was shocked that my friend would even look his direction. She has her life together, has a stable job and lives alone. I questioned her on why she was settling for his bum ass and she said she loves him and sees his “potential” and that she supports his streamer dreams…

My sister has a deadbeat ex and they are so similar. I know it’s not my place, but before she was even pregnant I warned my friend to get on birth control and use condoms everytime she sleeps with him because he has every sign of being a deadbeat. He doesn’t even take care of himself, there’s not a single paternal bone in his body. Anyone who brags about not changing their clothes for weeks, pees in bottles, and does substances every day is not good dad material. And in my opinion if you’re sleeping with someone especially in a red state like ours, you’re consenting to them being the potential parent of your child. She told me I was insane and who thinks that way, and that she has no intentions of getting pregnant.

Well… she did. Just like I expected when she told him he told her to travel to get a termination and she refused. Then he blocked her everywhere. She was devastated during the pregancy saying she can’t believe she’s doing it alone and I bit my tongue considering her vulnerable state. Well the baby is nine months now and she still complains about how hard being a single mom is, that it’s not okay for him to be a deadbeat and that she wishes she could have known he was a deadbeat before having a baby. Again I bite my tongue because I know she’s struggling.

Recently she found out that he has a girlfriend and has been going OFF. She’s messaging her on social media saying she’s disgusting for being with a deadbeat. She asked me recently if I would be willing to confront this girl at her job as a barista with her. I said no. She got upset and said if I was a true friend I would. That’s when I reached my boiling point. I told her that I WARNED her before she was even pregnant how big of a loser he is and that she has no place to judge anyone for dating him when she procreated with him and dated him too. She started crying and saying I’m an asshole because it’s not her fault she has a deadbeat BD. I just rolled my eyes and said it kind of is. AITA?