The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/koalaspaceship on 2024-08-29 16:12:21.

My (Sally 32), and my husband (Jim 33) have been married for 3 years now. Ever since we started dating, my MIL Kathy would make digs at both me, and my relationship with Jim. The very first day I met her, she asked where I was from and then when I answered she replied with “oh we don’t like people from there”. As the years went on, she would make digs at Jim for buying me flowers, make fun of our dates, etc. For events she would try and exclude me by saying it was “family only”. Whenever Jim and I would take trips, she would call and text Jim saying things like “why have you not checked in on me” or making up emergencies. Jim would always excuse her behavior to me because in his words he “was used to her abuse”.

After about 3 years of me and Jim dating, she started to be nicer to me. We were not friends, but at least her negative comments stopped. I thought this was weird, but didn’t question it because I hated all of her drama. Now let’s skip ahead to when we got engaged. It was the most amazing proposal, and we were so excited to tell everyone. When we told Kathy, she gave me a dirty look, then went to Jim and said “why did you not tell me?” Jim and I were very low contact with Kathy after that. We would still talk to and see Kathy, but it was not as often as it used to be.

Once Jim and I started planning our wedding, Kathy started to send paragraphs of hate messages to both me and Jim. Saying things like “nobody likes sally” and “you are selfish for planning a wedding when you know I am not on board with it”. Jim finally had enough and told her that if she continued, we would be going no contact. Kathy then decided to go to her side of the family spreading lies and even faked text messages to make myself and Jim look bad. Jim and I decided to block Kathy on everything, and in the months following, Jims whole family was turned against him based on the things Kathy made up and told to them. Accompanied by her “proof” of her faked texts. Jims family decided they would not come to our wedding. After the wedding it came out that Kathy lied about everything. Jims sister realized that some things Kathy made up did not make sense and figured it out. Then it spread to the rest of his family that they were lied to by Kathy. A few of them came begging for Jim’s forgiveness but it is hard to repair that betrayal for Jim. Since the wedding, we have been no contact with Kathy.

Up until I saw her at the store. She came up to me trying to make conversation and I looked her in the eyes and told her “Let me be clear. You have been dead to me and Jim for three years. That will never change so never speak to me again”. She started to tear up and left the area we were standing in. Ever since this, Jims family has been calling and texting him saying I was too harsh and an asshole and that we should forgive Kathy because she made a mistake that was 3 years ago. AITA? ETA breaks-