Dickerson Park Zoo x-rays show evidence of raccoon roadkill inside the bird's stomach.
      • FuglyDuckEnglish
        3•4 months ago

        but hey, we can always strap some fusion-powered mobility thrusters and it’ll soar with the best of them, right?

        (also, while we’re at it, lets give them control of their shits and train them to shit on trump.)

  • @[email protected]English
    46•4 months ago

    In the early 2000s I worked at a company that had a small central courtyard in the middle of the building. All four sides of the courtyard were three or more stories high.

    Pigeons used to congregate in the courtyard and pick for crumbs.

    One day, a huge hawk came down and snatched himself a big fat pigeon.

    He sat there for most of an hour picking at this bird. When he finally went to leave he couldn’t clear the lowest wall.

    We called animal control, they said if he’s still there in 2 days let us know.

    He crapped all over the place and by the end of day to was able to just fly out.

    I’m not exactly certain that he wasn’t hurt and just got better enough to fly out but it really looked like he just ate himself into a condition where he couldn’t get back out of there.

      • @[email protected]English
        1•4 months ago

        It was also the only approved smoking location anywhere near the building. So all the smokers crowded into the far corner of the courtyard while the hawk held down the other half.

        He was big, probably just shy of two feet tall. Any squawked it anyone that was anywhere near him while he was eating his pigeon.

  • @[email protected]English
    21•4 months ago

    The bird was unable to fly after eating what is suspected to be raccoon roadkill.

    “My ancestors hunted, but I mostly just sit by the side of a highway and wait for cars to do my hunting for me. They can even bring down deer.”

    • DominusOfMegadeusEnglish
      9•4 months ago

      Bald eagles are in fact scavengers. They’re shit birds, are not majestic, fuck with the real birds of prey, and steal their kills. Also they eat road kill, and their cry is disconcertingly discordantly cringe.

    • @[email protected]English
      6•4 months ago

      I awhile back I saw an eagle eating roadkill and as my car approached, it grabbed the carcass it was eating and flew off into a field with it a few feet, dropped it, and sat down to start eating it again.

      Had no idea eagles ate carrion. I figured that one was just young or something and having a hard time hunting, but I guess not?

      • @[email protected]English
        2•4 months ago

        Basically, AFAIK, eagles can hunt fish from the sea. They eat other birds & various creatures. They look majestic AF & their eyes are amazing. But they’re not the most intelligent birds around.

        They also eat a lot of roadkill, carrion, trash. So looks aside, bald eagles are kind of disgusting. But hey. Something has to clean up trash…and if the bald eagles will eat rotting carcasses… technically that is being useful.

    • @[email protected]English
      10•4 months ago

      If it makes you feel any better, I think pretty much every single other person is too fat/heavy to fly with our wings

  • @[email protected]English
    12•4 months ago

    Convergent evolution. Some eagles are evolving into chickens. A new species of murder chickens.

  • @[email protected]English
    4•4 months ago

    I feel like Roger Alan Wade weren’t singing about a God damn bald eagle, but never the less:

    The ain’t no wings on a pachyderm, it’s too fat too fly
    Ain’t ko wings on a barn yard pig, it’s too fat to fly
    There ain’t no wings on your fat ass and there ain’t no wonder why