The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Need_A_Life_42 on 2024-05-27 11:28:27.
I (34M) have been divorced from my ex (31F) since December. We got divorced after I spent a summer trying to fix our marriage when I discovered her affair. After saying she’d never be faithful to me again, we separated and were finally over. We share our 4 year old son who is just my whole world. I only live in this town because we moved here for her to go to school, where she met AP and left me; so I’m really only here for my son. He is currently playing T-Ball and had his second game the other week, where the issue started.
I’ll spare some of the other drama for another post if needed, but after that game, my ex and I got into a few verbal arguments about how I treated her AP and mother and that I was apparently ‘rude’ and ‘unwelcoming’ to them. I still don’t know what I should have done in that situation…was I supposed to be jolly and act like their affair and lies didn’t matter? Like I was supposed to treat them as family? No thanks. I don’t plan to be rude, but I don’t see any need to be friendly either, I’m just neutral as I’m tired of giving her or them any of my emotions. Now, to the issue:
My son and his team were invited to the local Triple-A ballclub for their season opener to meet the team and watch the game on a Wednesday. So I said I told my ex I would meet them there as this was a fun event that I wanted to be present for with my son. She said that I was not invited and should not go as it is her day to have my son and because I created an uneasy feeling for her being around my ex, I shouldn’t go. I took this very personally as there was no way I was going to be denied time with my son for her issues. She said “Well, if you’re there, just know it’s my right if we do not come at all” to which I responded “I will be fine and can handle being around you all, so if you don’t come, that’s on your conscience”
Well, I went to the game, and she did not. She did not bring our son, so there I was as the only parent without their kid present for the game. I still joined the team as I’m an honorary coach and wanted to support them all, but I left soon after as I just didn’t know what to do. I feel as if she has chosen her ‘comfort’ over what was best for our son. I’m not even mad, just disappointed and realizing how selfish she is. But Reddit, AITA? I know I have every right to be at my son’s events, and I’m not going to sacrifice that time with him, but this was just hard to bear so I’m seeking advice. I felt like my son was robbed of a wonderful moment and that this will be a theme for our post-divorce life and I don’t want that for my kid. We have not spoken on the issue since it happened and I’ll be seeing her for the first time today to get my son back. She says we need to ‘respect’ each other and act like stable parents, but then she goes and pulls this on me, which I feel is way more disrespectful, but could I be wrong? Thanks for your comments in advance.