I really tried to enjoy myself. God, I tried so hard. I attempted to find nuggets of joy within its hamfisted dialogue, one-note companions and the flashy but soulless fights. But I just couldn’t do it. Every time there was a glimmer of hope, it was dashed against the rocks of infinite disappointment.

Honestly, I’m amazed I finished it. There was certainly a point where I was starting to feel like I’d rather do anything else than listen to a hot Grey Warden talk about his big dumb bird for the hundredth time, or play therapist to a giant dragon slayer who just wants to moan about how their mum doesn’t understand them. These should have been great characters. A veteran knight reclaiming his order’s lost legacy, a proud warrior wrestling with their cultural and gender identity—there’s so much good stuff to mine here. But nope, they’re just plain boring. All of them.

I’m beating a dead horse, I know. I’ve already said my piece. But it’s just a real shame. When I got to the final cutscene that teased what we can expect from the next Dragon Age, it really sealed the deal. I’m out. BioWare just isn’t telling stories I care about anymore. Instead of moping around, I’m moving on. BioWare had an exceptional run, but that developer is long gone. What’s left is just an EA studio that makes middling games I’m not really interested in.