- cross-posted to:
- mademesmile
- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- mademesmile
- nottheonion
Summary
Police in Pennsylvania are investigating the theft of 100,000 eggs, worth $40,000, stolen from a Pete & Gerry’s Organics distribution trailer.
The unusual crime, potentially linked to soaring egg prices due to bird flu, has left authorities with no leads. Investigators are reviewing surveillance footage and seeking community tips.
Egg prices have surged, with the USDA predicting a further 20% increase this year.
With Easter approaching, concerns over affordability grow.
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Remember: if you see someone stealing 100,000 eggs, no you didn’t.
Ok but unless they are just giving them away, there is no way they are going to be able to eat all those eggs right? They are probably going to resell them for profit.
Who cares? The only thing that matters is if the company will hopefully be driven to bankruptcy and switch to a business model that doesn’t destroy the climate, like growing mushrooms
Think about it though. Who would steal 100,000 eggs? They can’t eat that many so they would probably sell them. They would need a giant distribution setup to sell them which would be noticed pretty quickly. “Hey walmart, why haven’t you ordered eggs from us in the past week? 🤔”. Like someone else said, it’s very likely an insurance scam.
Or they sold them to Walmart.
This is not the first time produce has been stolen and sold for consumption to regular distributors. It used to be quite common. Crime families have been built on that practice.
Good point.
Now that you mention it, eggs fit the right conditions for this kind of scheme. They’re experiencing an abnormal spike in value, are highly perishable (somewhat inelastic demand), and probably are stored under low security since they were (recently) cheap. Just the right commodity for arbitrage before everyone involved wises up or things normalize.
To cause harm to the company that’s destroying the climate.
Finally a clever headline! No use of the word “slammed” here.
Things not looking so sunny side up as local Denny’s gets grand slammed by eggsorbident costs due to ova’ul crime. Police unsure if culprits are laying low, on the run, or playing chicken.
These puns are fowl. I’m glad we’re not cooped up on the same instance.
You’ve gotta be yolkin; these are eggcelent!
Look, not a single person typing the word slammed. Just journalists living in the moment.
Love the title, great use of a pun. But it interesting. Either a competitor stole them, or a restaurant chain. I mean how do you fence 100k of eggs before they go bad? Either that or its some stupid pranksters, or crack heads that don’t know what they just did.
Could also be someone waiting until eggs go rotten then be used to tag some rich fucks houses or cars.
Prankster, crackhead, or normal people aren’t making off with ~13,000 lbs of eggs lmfao. This was a professional egg-stealer if I’ve ever seen one. It’s probably sold to people already, I don’t see why you’d steal $40k worth of eggs if you didn’t already have plans for them.
How many professional egg-stealers have you seen? I’m guessing it must be at least 3.
That’s just how good they are at what they do… 👀
Why me and my brother believe local or national restaurant chain. Could be someone with several I Hop franchises, or hell is Waffle House a franchise? Either way it someone who needs a shit ton of eggs.
Our could be place like this:
This place serves eggs.
Nice detective work! We will get to the bottom of this in no time!
They’ll blame immigrants at the end anyway
It probably was an inside job 🐣 Insurance fraud or something 🤷🏼♂️
Maybe the distributor wanting an extra excuse to charge more for a little while?
$2.50 per egg
Too damn low. Just like petrol
$4.80/dozen
No, it’s 2.5 eggs per dollar
Nottheonion
Haha funi crack the egg
There’s a special place in hell for editors who come up with headline puns.
