The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/FancyMoonlight on 2024-09-29 13:17:53.

I (32M) love my sister, Hannah (35F), and her kids (5M and 3F). I’ve always been the “fun uncle” and happily agreed when Hannah asked me to babysit one Saturday so she and her husband, Jake, could go on a much-needed date. The kids were great, and I didn’t mind helping out. But the next weekend, they asked again. Then again the next.

What started as one Saturday has now turned into me babysitting both Saturday and Sunday, every weekend. They drop the kids off at 9 AM and pick them up around 7 PM. That’s two full days of childcare—no pay, no food brought for the kids, no consideration for my time. I work full-time during the week, so my weekends are my only time to relax, hang out with friends, or get things done.

I finally told Hannah I couldn’t babysit one weekend because I had made plans with friends. She got upset, saying that I didn’t understand how hard it was for her and Jake to maintain their relationship and that their marriage was struggling. She implied that my refusal to help could make things worse between them, which made me feel really guilty. She said I was being selfish and that I should step up as family.

I tried to compromise by offering to babysit once or twice a month, but Hannah said that wasn’t enough. She said since I don’t have kids, I don’t understand the stress they’re under and that they need this time for their relationship to survive. Now, both Hannah and Jake are upset with me, and even my parents are weighing in, saying I should just help out “for the sake of family.”

The thing is, I do want to help, but I feel like my time is being taken for granted. I love my niece and nephew, but I need my weekends back, too. I never agreed to be their full-time nanny, and I’m starting to feel burned out from constantly giving up my plans.

I’m torn because I understand they need a break, but I also feel like it’s unfair to expect me to give up my entire weekend, every weekend, indefinitely. AITA for refusing to babysit every weekend and wanting to set boundaries with my sister?