- cross-posted to:
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- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- nottheonion
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the creature washed up on a beach near Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, she said: “[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
We might need a different giphy to express further WTF-iness surprise for the subsequent matter of whale blood oozing in through the car windows during the five-hour drive. But I’m not good at picking out memes.
I gotchu
You missed the part when she mentioned the “whale juices” spilling into the car when the vehicle stopped.
Is Mount Kisco where the NY HIllbillies are?
I wouldn’t say so personally. I grew up a few towns away. It’s a standard issue quiet little suburb. RFK Jr. is just a fuckin lunatic.
Grew up right near it and certainly would not label it hillbillies. Lol it’s like a rich suburb of NYC.
In an alternate reality, not too different from ours, this guy is gonna be the next president.
To be fair, I’m not convinced beheading a whale is lots worse than what our ex president is guilty of.
That is fair lol.
That said if we’re talking less about how awful he is, and more about how absurd his awfulness is, then nothing screams “divorced from the reality of normal people” quite like this quote from his own daughter:
He ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.
If even a little of this were true….<insert the words I don’t have to describe my feelings here>
Well the dude did used to just hang out in a rotting cattle graveyard and do shit tons of acid by himself all the time. This doesn’t sound that far fetched to me.
Hey, acid by myself is the best kind of trip. I agree with everything else regarding this freak though.
The Overton Window is closed.
It’s many times better.
I know the latest thing to call Republicans is weird…but this dude is a whole 'nother level of fucking weird. What the actual fuck.
And they’ll defend this while at the same time demonizing Haitians for eating pets (which they don’t do).
Beheads a whale, ate roadkill, and has a brain worm. True presidential material right here.
Oh, I almost forgot. He was a drug dealer, too!
Dial it back a bit. Many drug dealers are just trying to earn a living and many sell high quality safe products responsibly.
Most drug dealers I know have in fact never carried a whale carcass home.
Don’t forget he staged a road traffic accident with a dead bear
He’s like Trump if you respec all points from Grift and Lie to spread them on various mental disorders.
What have we come to. You can’t just behead a whale and drive around with it’s head on your car.
unless, apparently, you’re a Kennedy
It simply isn’t done ☝️
Happens to the best of us. And the worst, evidently.
Maybe it was the worms making him do it
The parasites in his brain create an irresistible urge to capture and devour more parasites in roadkill. I’m not sure how that translates to a legal defense, but I’m betting he can afford lawyers who can figure it out.
The Prion Defense?
We have laws against this so poachers don’t claim they found dead animals on the beach, and so
Good.
I would think the statute of limitations had run out on any crime here. Not that I’m condoning his behavior.
I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s a fistful of felonies.
Like if you or I had done that, we’d still be in prison
Stop trying to make him sound cool.
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